I was going to write a rather negative post. Not the kind filled with hostile tirades, and offensive rants. But the kind filled with doubts, regrets, and self-loathing. After thirty minutes of writing and editing, I realized this is not what I want to post tonight, five evenings from Christmas morning. Nor are those the emotions I want to carry forward this week. My wife and children deserve better, as do my friends. And the five of you following my blog.
I have not written the "Christmas Carol" post I have been planning these past five years. That sucks. But what does not suck are the moments this past week that broke up the tedious, mind-numbing hours spent editing videos.
The twenty minutes used to find the family Christmas stockings, mark out evenly spaced lines on an exposed beam, then repeat it several times because of miscalculations, and finally hang those stockings, in order to bring a bit more holiday cheer to a first floor still under construction.
The ten minutes trekking back and forth through mud and slush, hauling firewood into the house so that my wife can have roaring fires to brighten up her weekend.
The five minutes spent with my oldest daughter failing to make a giant Christmas bow, but in the process deriving designs for an awesome Christmas costume to wear during dance class this week.
The one minute sacrificed in order to look up from the videos I have been editing, and glance over at my youngest daughter who sat with a tearful smile while reading a birthday note from a special friend--an older girl she admires.
And a few other worthwhile distractions. Like unexpected texts full of funny GIFs. And catching sight of a flattering sketch someone made of you and posted on social media. Or being invited inside for a five minute chat and a cookie, and staying nearly an hour. Also sitting in a car on a winter's night in a dance studio parking lot, listening to a friend tell stories, and not wanting it to end, despite the cold creeping through the open driver's side window.
Finally, posting something a bit more positive and inspiring than what I started typing over an hour ago.
Now, if only I could find an image to go with this post in the next twenty minutes, so that I can get some sleep...
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