I am not an historian. Not even an amateur one. Although I graduated with a BA in history (along with a minor in philosophy, and another in classical studies), I failed to pursue it at a graduate level. A masters and PhD in history demands an academic discipline and an intellectual will that I lack. In addition, post graduate work requires narrowing down one's area of interest. If you have been reading my blog, you know that I am incapable of focusing on a single subject matter for too long.
Unfortunately, I desire to know everything about anything, which means I end up learning far less than I want or need. It is frustrating and debilitating. And I still don't know what to do about it.
I bring this up now, on Mother's Day, because the history of today is quite fascinating. It did not begin as a commercial endeavor, nor as a celebration of motherhood. It roots lie in pacifism and activism. I discovered this through an actual historian (be wary of those who speak about history, and never formally studied it, including me). Her name is Heather Cox Richardson and she wrote a piece about the founding of this holiday. Do not worry, it is short and non-academic; therefore, well worth the time and effort.
For some time now, Ms. Richardson has been sharing this information every Mother's Day. But this year, she changed it up. Instead, she shared her memories of a motherly figure from her life. This part stood out to me (bold emphasis mine):
"When I once asked her what was the most important historical event in her lifetime, this woman who had lived through the Depression and both world wars answered without hesitation: 'the washing machine.' It had freed her and her mother from constant laundry. She could finally have some leisure time, which she spent listening to the radio and driving in cars with boys. Because her mother always needed her at home, it was not she, but all her younger siblings, who went to college. By the time Mrs. A. was an adult, she was certain she wanted no part of motherhood."
The bolded parts above struck me hard, because I have a pet peeve. Well, I have many, but when it comes to history, I have one in particular that really irks me. People, especially those peddling ideologies, want to reduce complex historical experiences into a handful of broad memes, or sell single simple big events, people, and ideas over the everyday lives of everyday people going navigating complexities of reality.
But here is evidence that ideas and laws and movements alone did not free this woman (and I would argue millions of others). It was the washing machine, among so many other inventions, that provided this woman, and many others, the opportunity to do more. In her case, she had time to have fun. Also notice how being the oldest daughter in such a large family prevented this woman from attending college. She was expected to care for her siblings. I doubt the eldest son would be forced to do the same. Finally, these events, among other things, led her down a path in which she decided not to have children.
And that is what I find so fascinating about history. Not the overblown generalizations and myths found in textbooks, or vomited from the mouths of politicians and pundits. Instead, the everyday thoughts and activities of ordinary people who end up being a part of extraordinary events, or whose memories shed light on the consequences of seemingly simple ideas and inventions. It is in the ugly and complex details that we discovery humanity.
But, I can understand why people shun the messiness of history, besides the need to choose only those facts that reinforce their ideological assumptions. Getting in the weeds forces you to see otherwise sacred things as profane. Household chores did not always build character, especially for women. It prevented them from pursuing personal goals, or even contemplating the possibility. Inventions can make those chores easier, creating opportunities, but they can also reinforce stereotypes. For some reason, having washing machines did not inspire men in the household to start doing the laundry. Large traditional families are not always ideal, especially when burdens are placed on the older children. Finally, even the celebration of motherhood can have political roots. The early proponents became suffragists because they realized direct political power was necessary to affect change.
Confronted with historical experiences outside the narratives we have been fed so far, we are forced to ask difficult questions. What does it mean to be a mother? And a good one at that? Who can be considered a mother? How do we support mothers? And not just once a year? Can celebrating motherhood in the current way be harmful to women? And do men suffer, too? What happens when women are no longer allowed the choice of motherhood? Or even to define its meaning?
I just wish I was an actual historian, so that I could attempt to provide you informed answers, or educated guesses. At the very least, I wish I had the focus and will to find answers from people more intelligent than I am, and share them with you. Alas, this is best I can do.
