redux: brought back; revived.
deja vu: a feeling of having already experienced the present situation; tedious familiarity.
duplicate: to make double or twofold; to produce something equal to; to do over or again often needlessly.
It snowed today. All day. So there was a lot of shoveling. The house had to be cleaned. The entire house. That includes vacuuming, moping, and scrubbing things down. Then there was the laundry. And the meals. Which included buffalo wings, followed by bloating. Lots of bloating. Finally, there is this blog post. It sounds a little like last week's piece. Except... I am sick of shoveling.
(I love this illustration. Shared it in this post from way back.)
This morning, I was awaken from dream that took place at my daughters' dance studio. My memory of it began with me, alone, on the floor, pulling back the marley. I do not remember exactly why I was doing it, but something had to be set up in the room, and I felt the need peel back the floor. As I exposed the underlayment, I soon realized its poor condition, and the amount of time and energy it would take to fix it. But it did not stop me. However, as I continued to uncover the rotten material, people began to enter the room, and get in my way. They were all students, dancers from the studio. And the owner. He walked over to me and started questioning my actions, deciding it was too much work, and too little time to finish it. When I got up to walk away, he changed his mind, and started yelling at the children to move aside. That bothered me. Noticing my face, he instructed the students to help out. He even walked over to a group of them, and demonstrated, in a kindly voice, how to rip up the flooring. I turned away, and worked on another section. But it had a child sitting directly on it, unwilling to move. As I was getting annoyed, a former student of mine, someone whom I had been wondering about lately, arrived, looked at the child, looked at me, and began talking aloud. She had suggestions about how to work around this human obstacle. She was calm and reassuring, laughing most of the time. And together we were able to pull up pieces of flooring from underneath the child.
Then I woke up.
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Yesterday, after a long day of chores, and a delicious meal, my wife, daughters, and I sat down to watch The Muppets (2011). We had already seen it several times before, so we knew we would enjoy it. Those who are not familiar with the movie's premise, you may not appreciate what I am about to share. Those who saw the movie, and have been following this blog, should understand where I am going with all of this.
As I sat there, watching the film, for probably the fifth or sixth time, something occurred to me. On some level, I have played the part of Gary, Walter, and Kermit (and Gonzo, but that does not factor into this revelation). Twice now I have been a part of some beautiful, creative, educational experiences. In both cases, I sacrificed a large part of myself, ignored outside responsibilities and relationships, and assumed kindness and commitment would be enough. Both times have ended with institutions falling apart. Like Gary, I have forgotten my original reasons for participating. Like Walter, I believed in others without believing in myself, never realizing what I was capable of achieving. Like Kermit, I thought as long I believed in what I was doing, the suffering would be worth it.
Oh, and like Kermit at the end of the movie, I figure as long as you have a good heart, good family and friends, you can pick up the pieces, and carry them off to a better place.
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Two week's ago, I had written a post about a haunting, but inspiring dream. As a result, I was going to be more productive with my blogging. Last week I wrote that events had conspired to undermine my new goal for the blog. In reality, I was not prepared to deliver anything meaningful: a snowstorm, lots of food, and procrastination got in the way. Again. And by again, I also mean the same for today's post.
So, here I am, copying the final mantra from last week's post, in the hopes of not repeating myself next week.
Tomorrow is a new day.
One day at a time.
It is what it is.
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