Meandering Thoughts (#14)

For this post to make sense, I have to share one of my irrational habits. I photograph, for archival purposes, those fortune cookie I find prescient, relevant, and inspiring. Not that they have every predicted anything. However, on occasion, their arrival has coincided with my current thoughts. That revelation shifts my thinking, some times motivating me to take action, or to change. For example, lately, I have been thinking long and hard about being middle aged and building friendships. Then, in June, I received "A phone call to a good friend will ease your mind and lift your spirits". A week later, that one was followed by "A charming friendship is in the making". Coincidence?

When first drafting a new blog post, I start with its title. It helps to focus my thoughts, which, if you know anything about me, my mind is filled with them. Well, tonight, I decided on "Meandering Thoughts" (and only now am I noticing the irony). And since I have made a habit of numbering repeated titles, it was necessary to do a bit of research. To my surprise, my last use of it was back in late October... of 2021. Curiosity inspired me to read it. By the end I was shaking my head and laughing to myself. 

You see, in that last "Meandering Thoughts" post, I mentioned a goal: complete the NaNoWriMo challenge. Basically, write the first draft to a 50,000 word novel. In one month. In other words, develop a habit of producing about 1700 words a day. My first attempt, years before, failed. Since my blogging had been steady for over a year, I thought, why not. So, I dove into it, like all my goals, head first.

After a month, what did I have to show for it? Well, the unfinished first draft of a novel. Fifty-thousand words strong. And, interestingly, five blog posts detailing my writing habit. Also, my inability to carry that habit of daily fictional writing beyond that month. I wrote an entire post (it is in the fifth, and final post of the "On This Thing Called Writing" series) about how I was going to continue the process into December. It never happened.

But never one to repress my failures, I used this particular one to inspire a blog post. It ended with a call to be hopeful. After all, Christmas was a week away, and a new year just beyond it. 

Where am I going with all of this? Well, throughout my life, seemingly random experiences and events coalesce at just the right time, in just the right way, to motivate me. 

Yesterday, I returned from a week long vacation at an all-inclusive resort that required flying out of the country. A first for me (the all-inclusive resort, not the international travel). The whole time, I was totally out of my comfort zone. And I survived. Also, while I failed to blog last week, I managed to journal every day, even on the days I was flying. 

That night, after spending the whole day experiencing sweltering heat, hour-long lines, and the worst airport of my life, I arrived home. Tired and hungry, ordering in was the only option. Since that morning, a sub was on my mind. Then, about halfway through our forty-minute drive home, I changed my mind. Chinese food was now on the menu. General Tso's Chicken Combination, with pork fried rice and an egg roll. Damn did it taste good. And it came with two fortune cookies. I cannot recall what the second said, but I clearly remember the first.

"Do it now! Today will be yesterday tomorrow."

See, here is another funny fact about me. Leading up to a long trip away from home, I am in high productive gear. The days right before leaving, I am cleaning and organizing the house. Yes, I do a deep clean right before vacation. Arriving at my destination makes it more relaxing; coming home to a tidy house makes me feel like I can start over. And that is what vacations do to me. They make me want to start fresh. My mind is clear and focused. My body cries out for a reprieve from gluttony and sloth. Together, these feelings motivate me to act.

Last night was no different. Before that fortune cookie, I was already set to start Sunday morning accomplishing things. That message, one of million printed at a factory, an entire continent and ocean away, arrived at the right time and place. And it reached me just as my mind was ready for it.

So, I spent this morning active and productive. The day before flying out, I did a marathon planting. Cucumbers, summer squashes, and a bunch of herbs. Not sure if any of it will produce before the first frost. I do not care. But I had to do something with my garden. Well, the seeds sprouted. If the rabbits stay away, I just might have a decent crop. Maybe even pickles. Today, I watered them, weeded the beds, and trimmed the tomato plants (I transplanted them back in late June--yes, that is late, but they are doing well). 

Next the pool which I plan on using as much as I can before the summer ends. Vacuumed, backwashed, and shocked. Then all the laundry from seven days of ocean swimming, restaurant hopping, and just lounging around on a hot, humid Caribbean island. Washed, dried, and folded. Followed by two home-cooked meals. Grilled and air-fried. Finally, this blog post. Written and posted.

But I almost did not write it. The series, Only Murders in the Building, dropped the first four episodes of its new season while I was away. Now that we were home, my wife was desperate to see them. Satisfied with all my work I had done since seven this morning, I happily obliged. However, after two episodes, and with dusk descending I gave thought to my blogging. Missing last week's post was acceptable. I was on vacation, and did not need to share that fact, at that time, with the world. This Sunday? Well, yesterday was exhausting. An undersized airport, and an understaffed customs entry point. In addition, today was busy and productive. Plenty of good excuses.

Yet, that fortune cookie called to me. The two episodes had me feeling good. And my mind was swirling with thoughts (more so than usual). After getting up from the couch, and folding one last load of laundry, I returned to the basement (that is where the washer and dryer are located), sat down at the laptop, and began thinking about a title.

"I haven't done 'Meandering Thoughts' in a while. What number did I do last? What was it even about?"

Eventually I found it and read it. That is how I discovered it was all about restarting a writing goal. Searching through subsequent posts revealed a series called "On This Thing Called Writing". Those posts revealed my success: fifty-thousand words in a single month. The fifth and final one contained a desire to continue writing fiction daily. Another example of my optimism and motivation. Two weeks later, that was followed up by a confession. I never followed through. That draft still lingers on a hard drive, unedited and unread.

Yet, despite my failure, I wrote about a hope that the experience had planted in me. That was a year and eight months ago. That is how long it took me to rediscover those words and events. Right now, I am feeling good about this thing called writing. Like, I will wake up tomorrow morning, sit down, and start typing. And there will a page or two filled with fictional prose. Maybe wrestle with any one of my seven novels floating in my mind. Hell, at this point I will settle for a first draft of next week's blog post. I mean, there is only so many times I can throw long-winded and unedited essays, filled with misspellings and ungrammatical sentences, at you, my dear reader. 

At this point, I am supposed to say I owe it all to last night's fortune cookie that derived from a last-minute decision to switch dinner options. But really, everything I have written here has played a part in this process. 

Every. Single. Detail.

For the record, this is how my mind has been working since I can remember. My thoughts and experiences do these meandering routines, until they coalesce under the guidance of a catalyst. Then I act, or attempt to do so. Most times it ends in failure. Once in a while something arises from this mess. 

For example, like starting this blog...

Tomorrow is a new day.

One day at a time.

It is what it is.