My Weekly Checkup (#6)

A Collection of Some Things I Found, Some Thoughts I Had This Week

Today's Weekly Checkup is about three books that helped me understand things I thought I already did, and an emerging field of psychology that I have found very useful and insightful.

As always, consider reading through each section: besides the benefits of discovering a new topic or subject, you will gain more insights into my own personal thoughts and developments.

Non-fiction Books

Over the years, assumptions and misconceptions have tripped me up. Throughout my schooling, I used my organizational skills to avoid getting work done, instead of using it to plan effectively. While I was teaching, research in psychology and cognition improved our understanding of how students learn, but I never bothered to learn about these advances.   Reading these books helped me to retrain my mind. Although they are not the only books that have assisted me these past five years, current challenges have inspired me to revisit these particular ones.

Getting Things Done: the Art of Stress-Free Productivity, by David Allen

Yes, it is a self-help book. And, yes, many of them are fluff. But, sometimes you need one to illuminate the fog in your mind, and this one arrived just in time. In fact, it made it to my doorstep just before my trip to Aruba. Finished it while lounging on the beach. It was so worth it. Unfortunately, to commit something to memory, and make it accessible on a daily basis, requires reinvesting time in rereading and analyzing the material. These past three months, I have found my energy and interests expanding rapidly, but my productivity ineffective and lacking. It cannot keep up! I understand David Allen's ideas about planning, and I need to start putting them to practice regularly. So, I have placed it on my daily to-do list. If you struggle with organization and getting things done, you may enjoy reading this book.

How to Talk so Kids Can Learn, Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

I discovered this book nearly twenty years after it was published (my copy was bought used on Amazon, and has a copyright of 1995). What is written inside is more relevant today than ever. There are gems in here on how to better interact not just with students, but your own children. However, it has been awhile since I read it, and with my daughters entering their teenage years, I need to take it off the shelf, and read it again. Unfortunately, I never committed myself to using the advice on a regular basis, so I have not been reaping the benefits of its advice. There was one such suggestion: when your child begins to react negatively to a request you make, and they are in another room, or on another floor, don't shout or yell to them, or attempt to hold a conversation separated. Invite them to sit next to you, or go and sit next to them, look at them, put your hand on their shoulder, and quietly ask them what is going on. Damn did it work the first time I tried it. Just wish I had made it a habit. It's never to late to try again.

How to be Heard: Secrets of Powerful Speaking and Listening, by Julian Treasure
 

This is a book I read about three months ago. It was so good and informative, that I took notes. A lot of them. On my phone. It should be essential reading for just about anyone. At least the subject matter is so very important in this age of social media where people are constantly talking past each other, or with the intent of silencing one another. Because, in the end, the book is really about listening effectively to other people, before opening your mouth to speak. I fail at this constantly, and this book has begun to assist me in overcoming this shortcoming. One of its biggest points is that texting and short bursts of words (think twitter) can never replace direct communication between people, especially when negotiating a conflict, or navigating differences of opinion. There a lot of great advice, resources for further study, and techniques to improve your listening and speaking skills. I am so glad I took notes.

Psychology

Unfortunately, this deserves a lot more discussion, and I will go further in depth in future posts, but for now, I will give a brief mention. It has always been interesting and fun (maybe a little scary, too) for me to watch and analyze how seemingly random and disconnected people, events, and ideas converge at a singular point in my life, and intertwine to impart an important lesson, or reinforce a life-altering choice I have made.  A relatively new (as in the past 10-15 years) form of psychological therapy has emerged, and it has had a huge impact on my life, especially these past five years. The research and results have dovetailed neatly with my pursuit of certain habits, dealing with life changes, and creating new relationships. It is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There is a lot of science and data involved in it, and it utilizes the positive elements of psychotherapy. It is being applied to everything from PTSD and anxiety, to addiction and mental disorders. But it is also benefiting people who are just trying to make better choices in life, or deciding between two or more life paths. It is not a cure all, and it has its limits, but it has a lot of promise, too. It is worth looking into if you are struggling emotionally with something, or someone. The link should give you general background, and I hope at some point to revisit the topic, and explain its impact on me more.