I began this past week being busy, and showing little for it--two consecutive days of repetitive, tedious, unchallenging work, mostly from someone else's list. Then I continued to be busy, but this time also productive--two consecutive days of reflective, creative, rewarding tasks, and from my list. Finally, I ended the week working nonstop--a busy weekend with mixed results. Thanks to good conversations with good people, I survived..
But, tonight, I am exhausted. So, I apologize ahead of time for this post. It came to me this afternoon while getting things done at my daughters' dance studio. However, it is short and to the point, but not exactly what I had hoped to say.
Well, maybe not to the point, because I have not written it out yet. So, it may fall short in another way.
But it will be short, because I have to go to bed by a certain time. Sleep is important to me, because I wish to dream; therefore, I refuse to allow anyone, or thing, including fear, to rob me of such opportunities.
Good luck!
(That last line was partially meant for me...)
My spirit cartoon character is Charlie Brown. I wish I could say it was Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. That wild, boundless imagination, love of nature, awkwardness around real people, and an endearing friendship with an orange and white striped meat-eating stuffed animal. But alas, Calvin is fearless and daring, willing and able to explore the vast unchartered corners of the Universe. And not care one iota about what others think. Also, he seems to have no interest in the opposite sex--sorry, Calvin, that is where we part ways.
Now, Charlie Brown, on the other hand. He dreams big, but comes up short. A lot. And he constantly puts his faith in the people he knows, even the ones who do not think much of him. He is forgiving and understanding. Also, very hopeful.
He constantly loses baseball games, yet he still takes the mound (in my two years of little league baseball, I think I enjoyed two wins).
He likes a little red-haired girl, but is afraid to tell her (my first crush, the one I can remember, was a redhead in the the fourth grade. She was taller than me. Like probably a foot. And she looked beautiful in her plaid green jumper and yellow blouse--I attended Catholic school K-8, which may explain a lot...).
He knows Lucy will take that football away, but he still takes a few steps back, lines himself up, and runs earnestly towards his goal (this one is a straight up metaphor for some of my habits... though, now that I am thinking about it, I may have had, or have, a Lucy or two in my life...).
He wears an ugly yellow shirt with a strange black pattern (I wore an oversized yellow jacket with a plaid liner everywhere I went during middle school, because its ugliness was a shield against the world...).
He wants to lead, whether it is a team, or a Christmas pageant, but fails to inspire those around him (well, I have always dreamed of leading, and I have failed at it on one occasion; I also want to direct some sort of stage production...).
He has a dog that ends up being more popular and successful, but Charlie Brown is still expected to bring the food bowl to the dog house (another metaphor for something in my life, but of what, I do not know...).
He knows that te kite-eating tree lurks nearby, ready to pounce, robbing him of an opportunity to fly his kite, but he still attempts it (dear procrastination, I will write those stories, sincerely, me).
But more than anything, when I read Peanuts as a child, I connected with Charlie Brown's shyness and insecurities, but also his optimism in the face of failure, humiliation, and ridicule. I have come a long way (I have eventually won some "games", made some new friends, kicked a "football" or two). Though the jury is still out on two things (I have been a stage manager, and I "think" my crew liked me, but I am not really sure I "inspired" them; I got rid of that yellow jacket, but I probably should lose the "dad" shorts). And I am uncertain about another (I still bring the food bowl out to the popular dog, but I do not know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, or what it even means). Finally, and this week proves I still struggle with it, that tree is still eating my kite.
"Good grief!"
And I am allowing it. At some point, I am going to cut that damn tree down, and start writing those stories.
But for now, I will pick up the remains of my broken kite, take it back to the garage, and dream about building a new one.
Goodnight!
No comments:
Post a Comment