Meandering Thoughts (#1)

"No more words, 
No more words, it's a time that is dead
There are words
That are better unheard, better unsaid"
    ~ Valjean, "In My Life" from Les Miserables (the musical)

"You can't handle the truth!"

    ~ Colonel Jessup, A Few Good Men (the movie)

(I was looking for an image that conveyed solitude, and ended discovering and falling in love with these three. Okay, so the third one does not scream solitude, but there is this pleasantry and beauty to it that inspired me to include it.)

In college, I ended up having a crush on a young woman with whom I started developing a friendship. Although she knew it, we never talked directly about it. But as time passed, she started having feelings for me, too. Yet, neither of us spoke up concerning that taboo topic. Then one day I paraphrased a line from the musical Les Miserable: "Some things are better left unsaid." Well, that elicited a strong response, the tone of which I did not expect.

"Don't you ever believe that. Don't be afraid to say whatever needs to be said." At the moment, those words stung me. It was not exactly anger that was behind her retort, but there was definitely a pain inciting it. 

At some point, both our feelings for each other came out, but nothing happened, except some hard lessons, anguish and tears, and a deeper connection with another friend.

However, there was another point to sharing this story, besides experiencing nostalgia (the topic of my upcoming Monday post). Her reply to my pretentious misquote struck me so hard that it has remained forever stuck in my mind. There are a number of such moments when people have said things to me in such a way and under certain contexts, that the experience has forever been etched into my psyche. Then they arise occasionally like scabs demanding to be picked so as to reveal the underlying wound. Their words were epiphanies, that I love to replay from time to time. 

(I sure do love revelations, even the painful ones!) 

And so, on this day, for some strange reason, while walking alone through the neighborhood at dusk, I found myself thinking back to my sly question and her sincere answer.  

When are things better left unsaid, unheard? 

When are thoughts best spoken and shared?

And, dear God, where can I find the wisdom to tell the difference?