On Dreaming (#4)

Motivated by what follows, I aim to have another post up before the evening of Tuesday, November 3, which is Election Day here in the US. But, as is always with my endeavors, we shall see...

(There is something about the attitude of everyone in this painting. it is a beautiful painting--I love their body language and facial expressions.)

 

In last week's post, I shared details of an insightful dream I had experienced. Its contents were timely. An upcoming pivotal election had been on my mind. The passing of an important writing milestone, my 75th blog post, had caught my attention. A moment of transition, involving a decision between repeating past failures, or transcending a past mistake, had me struggling emotionally. Therefore, it is no surprise that a dream about exposing myself to judgment should have appeared.

However, unlike a typical dream of vulnerability and powerlessness, my nakedness was not embarrassing. Instead, it was a journey of validation. The judges were not there to humiliate me, but to critique me, so that I could improve. There was a drive to find a time and place for it, out of sight of other contestants. But this was not out of fear. Instead, I desired to participate on my terms--I was not going to be controlled. Then there was a lit bathroom with a tattered sheet for a door, and a nosy person forcing their way into it. That was a reminder that some places may seem inviting and beneficial, but they may also welcome unwanted attention. Ultimately, I had to take to the dark, disheveled rooms, in order to find my proper place. Fortunately, I had a companion to guide me, who would provide comfort and inspiration. More importantly, I felt no shame in her presence. Yet, even she would have to fade away, and leave me alone.

And it was in that moment of loneliness that I stood before a door to a new room containing the final judge. Without hesitation, I boldly stepped in and began to strip off my layers…    

For forty-two years I have been asleep, 

afraid to express myself, 

fearful of being wrong.

(I was silent.)

Then, last week 

I had a dream 

that changed me.

(I was set free.)

In that dream,

The last judge told me

“Do not be afraid any longer.”

(Now I am awake.)