Confessions (#2)

On the eve of another intense week (that will most likely spill into two), and after spending three days sitting around, unproductive, in a creative malaise, I feel the need to confess the following. Maybe it will inspire me to make some changes. Or purge my system of some self doubts. At the very least, it will satisfy my goal of blogging weekly. And right now, this blog is my only hold on the person I wish to be. 

(Muses, a very interesting and beautiful photograph series by Christy Lee Rogers.)

Confessions (#1)

Smart people are always wrong, until they finally discover that they are right.

Everyone else walks through life believing they are right,

Unless they become smart, 

and learn that they are always wrong. 

The following was inspired by yet another political Facebook post that took me three minutes to debunk, because it sounded too absurd, but somehow was so certainly true to another person, that they failed to question it before sharing it.

(The first image is by Ramon Casas, which I chose as a more tongue-in-cheek representation of this post. Though, I still think it is beautiful, and very relevant for other reasons. The second image is Ferdinand Georg Waldmüller, and is a more serious take on my current feelings, particularly the figure in the foreground. But, notice the bright light resting on the child. There is hope.)

On Dreaming (#5)

Two weeks ago, after sharing the details of an intense dream, there was a promise of an election day post. It never materialized. I failed to follow through. A surreal election process that is still unfolding, a negative personal experience, and a series of looming deadlines, have left me stumbling about an intellectual stupor. In addition, I have not replaced my habit of procrastinating, nor overcome my fear of speaking out. Hence my fourteen days of silence.  

But one of my five regular readers reached out to me this past week, concerned with my disappearance. Also, a good friend reminded me of the things I find important in life. Finally, two nights ago, two separate dreams blindsided me, shaking me to my core. 

Whatever malaise had engulfed me these past two week, has lifted. Focused, I turn my attention to blogging.

Here is tonight's post. 

(If you click on the image, you should be taken to the original, which will allow you to zoom in on it. And if you do that, you may understand why I have chosen it. Look carefully enough, and you will see the strain in her eyes, the sweat on her forehead, and several strands of wet hair clinging to her face. Beauty struggling to create. Maybe even a bit of frustration. At least that is what I see.)

On Dreaming (#4)

Motivated by what follows, I aim to have another post up before the evening of Tuesday, November 3, which is Election Day here in the US. But, as is always with my endeavors, we shall see...

(There is something about the attitude of everyone in this painting. it is a beautiful painting--I love their body language and facial expressions.)

 

On Dreaming (#3)

Warning! Remember, once you read this, it cannot be unread. The dream I am about to share will require you to look past the characters, which really are just temporary placeholders, and the minor details, which are more universal than most people are willing to admit. Instead, focus on the deeper revelation about me, because it is critical to understanding an emotional challenge that I have been facing for so long. One that I would finally like to overcome.

Because, in the end, that is why I had this dream: to draw focus on a longstanding shortcoming of mine.

And I am hoping that sharing this dream might inspire courage in me to change.

(Though, I am sure some of you might end up simply being amused--or disturbed--by all of it. That is the price of "exposing" oneself, I guess.) 

(I spent more time searching for an image than writing this post--I deemed my first choice not ready for prime time. However, I finally settled on these two by William Orpen. There is something interesting and beautiful about both. Slightly haunting, and intriguing. I don't know exactly. But I am glad I found them. Both women appear to have a story to tell, too--when they are ready.)

A Brief Interlude (#13)

For those who were wondering, the middle of last week turned into a hot mess; therefore, I failed to make time for my Wednesday post. By Thursday afternoon, events occurred that inspired me to collect the pieces, and rearrange them into something better. Embracing the waves of relief, levity, and serenity, brought on by positive self-reflection and several conversations, I made the decision to pass on my regular Thursday weekly checkup. Not surprisingly, on the eve of a busy weekend, following several days of physical struggles and emotional stress, Friday became my new sabbath. I took time to recover: I ate my way to contentment and equilibrium.

Alas, when it rains, it pours. On Saturday afternoon, while two close friends and I were discussing the consequences Covid-19 has had on our lives, news came that would require us to rush out and have our children quarantined and tested. I am not concerned for our children’s health; indeed, I suspect they will all come up negative. However, just being placed in quarantine, and handed so much uncertainty, has thrown planning for the next two weeks beyond clarity and understanding.

But in moments like this, you learn things about yourself. And, while a resolution to a current crisis may not be laid out in front of you, you realize that “just okay” is not a bad position to be in.

For the moment...

(The artist is Elizabeth Sparhawk-Jones, and this work, The Dreamers, is a later painting. I found two articles about her: The Girl Behind the Counter: Elizabeth Sparhawk-Jones, and Elizabeth Sparhawk-Jones: An Overlooked Phenomenon. I have not read them, though I plan on it at some point. There were a few other of her paintings that I  found intriguing.)

Meandering Thoughts (#2)

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

    ~ Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

My Weekly Checkup (#25)

It has been another busy week, but this time around, I have been productive, too. Not as much as I would like, but then, maybe I need to curb my expectations in that department. Maybe. Meanwhile, here is something I want to share with you. It will not be for everyone reading this blog. Heck, I will be surprised if anyone reading this blog (all five of you) gets past the description I provide, let alone the first five minutes of the actual video. But should you decide to spend an hour of your life "experiencing" the video, what a trip!

At least scroll down and read my review of it: I reveal a small secret about myself.

Enjoy!

(Something beautiful and pleasant, in contrast to what is in the video shared below. Also, I just discovered Konstantin Somov tonight. Some interesting pieces. Click on the painting to discover more of his work.)

   

Meandering Thoughts (#1)

"No more words, 
No more words, it's a time that is dead
There are words
That are better unheard, better unsaid"
    ~ Valjean, "In My Life" from Les Miserables (the musical)

"You can't handle the truth!"

    ~ Colonel Jessup, A Few Good Men (the movie)

(I was looking for an image that conveyed solitude, and ended discovering and falling in love with these three. Okay, so the third one does not scream solitude, but there is this pleasantry and beauty to it that inspired me to include it.)

On Dreaming (#2)

For the past few months, I have been struggling with something. Well, quite a few things, but this something is the one that has been on my mind frequently. Mostly because it is connected with old habits I am looking to abandon, new habits I want to develop, and projects I want to complete. Last night I had a dream about it. And, because I did not budget enough time to write a long, thorough post about an important topic, I decided to share this short, but relevant dream.